The Luminary's Broad-Based Arsenal
So after I announced our vaunted crew of new semi-regular columnists –of which three out of four are named “Bill” (four if you count regular stalwart Bill Grigsby) and all of them men – I was queried (pugnaciously, I might add) if I was sexist.
I don’t understand that sort of thinking. What’s wrong with being sexy? I can’t be blamed that a bunch of high-class broads practically run this newspaper.
See our masthead below – it’s Alexis Yoder who works as our National and Bill Grigsby correspondent. It’s Elle and Taryn who circulate and make all clerical-like behind the scenes. Carolyn Elwess — she calls all the shots (and I mean it…you don’t mess with a girl who likes to fire cannons and wears an NRA jacket to lunch meetings). Then there’s Gale Bay…she handles some of our philanthropic efforts, I think. (Or maybe she just talks to me in public out of charity.) And before I drove her to near insanity with missed deadlines, Alexis Levenson was a killer copy editor.
Further behind the scenes works Ellen Willits-Smith of our mentor publishing firm, Specialized Publishing Corporation. She graciously serves as the sounding board for anything I worry might be a little out of line or racy for readers [Editor’s note: Mrs. Willits-Smith was not consulted about the use of the word “broad” in an earlier paragraph. The publisher concedes that whenever he has to ask her anything about good taste, he’s usually already wrong.] And reminds me that I don’t know how to work a fax machine. And, of course, if I never need a pun, there’s Char Roush at the front desk. Additionally, whenever I want to be yelled at about “Cappuccino Night” (rescheduled for next Thursday!) or crises that don’t exist, the lovely Ginny Young is always there for me. Also at SPC , The Lovely Linda handles me mail (sounds better when I say it with a Paul McCartney accent).
Across the way a bit, Deborah Butcher provides us with calendar information; Barbara Lance, Cindy Liberty and Claudia Wilhite handle our requests at City Hall. Over on page 7, there’s my colleague at King Features Syndicate Samantha Weaver, holding it down with her “Strange but True” column (we’re huge in Spokane). My edinatrix at WineS magazine, Cathryn Castle Whitman, still makes me beg for the feature assignments that keep me in the grape, while our former editor Mandy Hay (now in Cajun country) still makes sure we don’t print libelous attacks in our “Letters to the Editor” space. Jessica “Jezzy” Bell, despite missing her first deadline, promises to provide us with some much needed photography.
And while a few folks on the wrong side of the tracks like to claim that I’m “in the pocket” of Piropos owner Gary Worden, that’s completely absurd. (I’m in Cristina Worden’s pocket, duh.) While we’re at it, let’s not forget my wifey, the Shiny Object on the dance floor who married a saloon singer and supported his goal of writing his ideas in a journal for meager pay (and still thinks he’s cool – even if he drives a Prius).
So while the guys on the masthead may get the fancy hedcut treatment from our graphical genius Tommy White Tie, and Wondermark’s David Malki steals the show with his cool looking, if a bit weird, editorial cartoons, let there be no doubt who’s calling the real shots. In fact, it was a call to me by Alicia McGarry that really made me realize that my “bare bones” Luminary staff was an arsenal…in fact, we have the most talented (read: poorly compensated) newspaper staff in the Kansas City region, bar none.
Mrs. McGarry had called to offer me a hand-up…she would guest publish The Luminary for me while my wifey – the Preggers Elect – gave birth in February. After a brief discussion, the potential guest appearance became a full-time, part-time gig.
Loyal readers will remember the “Luminariette” from her stint as our Park Hill School District beat reporter a few years back, before she decided to start a family. She returns as our city beat reporter. As I am wont to do, I offered to accompany her to her first meeting at City Hall and introduce her to the mayor and city staff but she basically said thanks — but no thanks. “I can definitely go it alone,” she informed me.
The chick’s got moxie, baby.
Anyway, ever since Nancy Jack’s forced retirement last year, we’ve needed another Noel Neil (that’s Lois Lane , holmes) and we’re glad to welcome her back.
So while they adjust the lineup at City Hall (see Mrs. McGarry’s story on page 1), just remember that The Luminary abides.