Have it Your Way
Much has been written in recent days of the Schiavo case, and to a much lesser extent, the Jackson/Peterson/Blake cases and the steroids in baseball “scandal.”
For those of you looking for a respite from stories such as these, an independent, local newspaper like the one you’re reading now is still a popular choice.
Last week, The Luminary featured a story about a U.S. senator’s attempts to be heard over the media din. Kit Bond was telling our Secretary of State, inside the Capitol rotunda, on the record for all to see, that religious extremists from countries who claimed to be our allies were issuing fatwas against us from inside our very shores. Across the country, about 10 other news outlets may have mentioned the story for a moment. There was no outrage because nobody else heard the story. Instead, we’ve been hearing about Michael Jackson wearing pajamas to court.
Why all of the analysis? Why the fascination?
Why is everybody still obsessed with Michael Jackson? He sang “A-B-C” and danced as a child. Great. Then he sang “Billie Jean” and invented the moonwalk - a dance step that is…well…basically ridiculous. Then he wore just one glove - not two, like the rest of the people with two hands - but one. Gosh, was he getting weird then or what?
Now that it’s 20 years later, and the guy has sang some more songs and created more sickly absurd dance moves (such as the crotch grab…thanks for that one, Mike), can we knock it off? He’s now known as “Wacko Jacko,” he looks like a monster, and we all pretty much agree that this guy has gotten way too weird, way too many times, with children. (In the “some things you don’t want to know” department is the avoided questioning of Macauley Culkin and Emmanuel Lewis throughout all of this. “Webster Home Alone with Michael Jackson” is a picture we don’t want to create for ourselves.) OK, so now he’s shown up late for court still wearing his pajamas. The verdict? At the very least, he’s an ass. When the court case is over, can we all agree that his infamy now outweighs the quality of his catalog?
The steroid case? Another case closed. Athletes, including baseball players, use drugs. Why is anyone over the age of 12 shocked to learn of this? Why are we being subjected to the endless analysis because a washed up has been wrote a tawdry baseball memoir? Are we upset because of the children? Are we really expecting our children to learn only good from their sports idols? Is discussion of Mark McGwire’s bulk up regimen now relegated to the realms of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy ? I missed that memo.
This is not an argument about whether athletes are role models. Athletes can serve to be either good or bad role models. It’s up to the parent or guardian to do the rest. The rest of us can offer tips, like, “hey, you know your son? Well, Johnny has ‘roid rages. OK? He’s 16, he’s gained 30 pounds of muscle, he’s breaking out all over the place, he’s on all the sports teams, he’s drinking beer and getting into fights on weekends, and oh, yeah…he’s on steroids and everyone else seems to know it.”
Baseball, we were reminded last week, is given a special tax break because it is our “pastime” and occupies a special part of our social heritage. Really great law there, folks. Guess what? Apple pie occupies a special part of our heritage. I’d like to see some apple pie tax relief. People are complaining about gas prices, and I’m far more shocked at the grocery store’s Tippin’s pie cost.
So, like Mr. Jackson’s, after spring training, can we all agree that the steroid story has occupied enough of our time? Then we can stop pretending the NFL isn’t doing anything we couldn’t do to ourselves after an off-season of heavy lifting.
Because we’ll keep reading and hearing about this stuff for as long as we keep demanding it, you know.
As I’m writing this, the top stories on the AP wire are “85 Militants Killed in U.S. Raid” and “Social Security Said to Go Broke in 2041.”
The most requested story on the Yahoo! News Web site is “Trump Wants Jackson to Perform in Vegas.”